


The Misadventures of Nooty and The Baby Girl #1

by Ant_TheArguGent



Series: The Misadventures of Nooty and The Baby Girl [1]
Category: Manute Bol, NBA - Fandom, Sasha Grey - Fandom
Genre: Action/Adventure, Animals, Comedy, F/M, Pornstars, Sports
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-21 20:53:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8260187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ant_TheArguGent/pseuds/Ant_TheArguGent
Summary: Manute Bol (Nooty) and Sasha Grey (Baby Girl) are off to visit the in-laws, when their trip is interrupted by a shocking discovery in a mysterious woodland...
What would they find?  Who is to blame?  Corporations?  Probably...
Join Nooty and The Baby Girl on the death-defying adventure of a lifetime in issue #1 of...
Nooty!  And!  The Baby Girl!!!





	

**Author's Note:**

> No disrespect to Manute Bol, RIP... 
> 
> He is the man, as I'm sure you will find...

Issue #1: Probably Peter’s Humble Paradise

There’s an old saying: ‘It’s about the journey, not the destination.’

Don’t tell that to Sasha Grey.

Long car rides are her kryptonite, and this has been one of the longest. “Come meet my parents,” Manute said. “It’s just a short trip down the coast,” he said. Four hours later, they’re still two hours out, and Sasha’s patience is running thin.

“I need to stretch my legs,” she utters, turning her head towards her fiancée, world renowned sporting legend, Manute Bol.

“But Baby Girl, we’re almost there. Can’t you wait?” Something about Manute’s gentle tone usually relaxes Sasha, but this time, it makes her livid.

“Dammit, Nooty, you said we were almost there an hour ago!” Manute glances at her from the corner of his eye… Nothing hurt him- or excited him- more than to see her pout.

And so he pulls his 1970 Cadillac Deville to the side of the road, allowing Sasha to escape her confinement for the first time in hours. 

It is a bright sunny day in California. The birds sway, the trees sing and God Almighty, the breeze is spectacular. Sasha wanders circles around the convertible, dreading the moment she’ll have to return to her caged agony.

Eventually, she begins gazing off-road, hoping to spot some wildlife mid-action. It didn’t get her off to see animals making whoopy, she just appreciated the nature of it all. Past an embankment lies a narrow stream, full of bushes, beavers, and beastly bugs. Her eyes scan, but pick up nothing. Disappointed, she ambles over to the Caddy, and knocks on the glass. Manute rolls down the passenger window and leans over to hear what she has to say… 

“This place is beautiful, Nooty, absolutely beautiful. There’s a stream right over there with so many blues and greens…” Her head solemnly drops. “But I think something’s wrong.”

“What’s that, Baby Girl?”

“I don’t see any fucking.” 

This revelation brings a frown to Manute’s usually beaming face. “But, Baby Girl, it’s a beautiful spring day. These critters must be knocking more boots than a wartime factory.”

“That’s what I’m saying. I’m scared.” Manute sees further past Sasha’s luscious,   
hazel eyes than anyone. He knows she’s serious. Quickly, his frown flips to a confident grin and he snatches his 600 dollar Ray-Bans from the dashboard. With a flick of the wrist, they’re on his face, and BOY do they look cool.

“Don’t worry, Baby Girl… Nooty’s on the case.” 

In a matter of seconds, Manute is out of the car and by her side. Together, they hop the embankment and wander down to the creek. Squirrels, ferrets and other woodland creatures abound, yet this scene, that should be remarkable, carries a calamitous mood. Even the fish in the stream swim without any direction or purpose. Woe is in the air.

“What do we do?” Sasha inquires. Manute glances at her with a smirk and pinches her booty.

“I’ll take care of it”. Carefully, the 7 foot 7 demigod approaches a critter, a small rabbit with a cotton tail, probably named Peter. Using a technique he’d learned from Charles Barkley during his tenure with the 76ers, he proceeds to speak to the little guy… “Hello, friend. My name is Manute.”

“I’m Probably Peter,” the rabbit responds.

“Should I call you Probably, or Peter?”

“Peter, probably.” 

The two share a good chuckle, and Peter continues… “What brings you to our humble paradise?” Sasha quickly approaches to stand beside Manute. Knowing she gains all of his prowess with skin to skin contact, obviously, she places a hand down his pants, gripping his buttocks. And so she, too, proceeds to speak with Probably Peter.

“We were just visiting the in-laws when I couldn’t help notice your little ecosystem here lacked… lacked…”

“Fucking?” assists Peter.

“Yes, fucking…” Even alluding to a lack of hardcore twat-slamming chokes Sasha up a bit. It’s almost too much to bear.

“Indeed, ‘tis a dry spell in this humble paradise…” Probably Peter shakes his head regretfully. Manute pats him on his soft little rabbit head. 

“It’ll be okay, little guy. We’ll help you.” Miniature tears well up in Peter’s eyes. To think this man-giant would be willing to risk it all- at least in theory- to save the wooded stream’s libido… It touched him to the core. 

“Do you mean it, sir? Will you really help to revive my humble paradise?”

“Of course, young rabbit,” responds Manute. “But you must do me one favor.”

“Anything, squire!” Manute leans down to near-eye-level and places his hand on Peter’s fuzzy cheek, bearing the most sincere expression you’ve ever seen. 

“You must think of another name for your community. You can’t say it’s both a paradise AND humble… That’s a contradiction.” Peter gazes up at his savior, eyes wide, mouth agape. The man before him must be nothing short of omniscient. 

“Yes, of course…”

“Good. Now, please, tell us everything.” Manute proceeds to take a seat on a nearby stump, Sasha sitting upon his spacious lap. The pair listens intently as Peter begins his tail- I mean tale…

“It started when the loggers came… They were on orders from The Building Boys, a corporation dead set on turning any bit of forest or woodland into nothing but tall, grey buildings!”

Manute chimes in, “Probably for project housing or municipalities.”

“Those bastards!” Exclaims Sasha.

“And so we banded together, brothers in arms, and took them on! We held them off for a while, too.”

“How so?” questions Manute.

Smiling proudly, Peter answers, “Have you ever seen Home Alone?”

Sasha’s eyes wide in surprise. “Oh. It was a like an Ewok situation?”

“I mean… I guess?” 

An awkward silence shakes the trees…

“Anyway, we had ‘em on the ropes. Cunning Coon managed to trap a few in a hole, Burly Beaver locked four in Def Dam Prison. It was quite the sight to see! But then they unleashed their secret weapon.” Sasha gripped her Nooty’s hand tight, anxious about what Peter might say... 

“Veterinarians.”

Nooty and his baby girl share a perplexed glance. Soon, however, Manute’s eyes twinkle, a sure sign he’s made a deduction. “Ah! They removed your testicles! Not to mention the oviducts and uterine horns of your women!” Peter’s Probably head hangs solemnly. 

“No amount of anesthetic can mask the pain we’ve endured since that fateful day… I feel incomplete, as though a part of me is gone.” As if on cue, a young doe trudges past the trio, turning her head to glance at them as a single tear rolls down her cheek. 

“Tragic”, Sasha whispers, softly. 

She turns back to Peter. “What can we do to help? Whatever it takes, right Nooty?” Manute faces her, removes his glasses slowly, and proceeds to place them back on even MORE slowly. Seriously cool. 

“Damn straight, Baby Girl. The in-laws can wait.” He turns back to the rabbit. “Get ready to hold on to your balls, Peter…“ Probably begins quivering with excitement… “Because once we find them…” Manute takes Sasha by the hand, and Peter by the paw… 

“It’s all you’re going to want to do.”

TO BE CONTINUED

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any formatting mistakes, this is my first post. Any feedback, positive or negative is welcome. Most importantly, thank you! I enjoy writing dumb stuff that makes me laugh, and whenever somebody laughs with me, it makes the experience that much better. Stay tuned for issue #2!


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